Your dating mindset can change drastically from one decade to the next. But dating after 30 can be very different. There’s much more life experience and hopefully, less tolerance for foolishness!
Dating should absolutely be stress-free (unless you’re late for your date, and trying to find a place to park)! So let’s chat about how you can maintain a positive and healthy dating mindset in your 30’s and beyond!
First and Foremost: Date Yourself First
Take some time to nurture your own hobbies, interests, and overall happiness.
You owe it to yourself to feel whole and confident when you step out into the dating scene. A strong sense of self is so attractive.
Embrace Imperfection
Remember that no one is perfect. Your date could be as fine as your favorite actor but with the personality of a sloth.
Let go of the idea that your future partner has to check off every box. Instead of expecting perfection, appreciate that imperfection can lead to significant connections.
Stay Open-Minded
Be open to meeting different types of people. I’m talking different backgrounds, different races, or from different parts of the world.
You never know who you could be passing up because they don’t match your “ideal” type. The one you would least expect could also be the “one” for you.
Invest in Your Confidence
Work on your self-esteem by practicing positive affirmations, getting dressed in a way that makes you feel your best, and nurturing your overall sense of self-worth.
Check out a few extra confidence boosters that may help!
Let Go of the Past
Our past heartbreaks occurred to teach us many lessons, including not dating that hot guy you met in the club (so guilty!).
Don’t let your negative experiences dictate your present dating life. Each new person is a fresh start; they deserve the chance to show you something different.
Be Patient
DO NOT rush the process of finding your person.
You will likely regret dating someone exclusively just because you’re tired of waiting. Trust that the right one will come along at the right time.
Embrace Online Dating
I know, I know – most people would say that dating apps are absolute trash. But dating apps can be a great way to meet new people, especially when you have a busy schedule.
Be picky! Make sure to sign up on the right dating apps. If you want to hook up, do your thang! But if you’re looking for more, research which apps best align with your goal for a serious relationship.
Communicate Clearly
No need to be shy here, my friend!
Be clear about your standards for respect, kindness, and how you expect to be treated. Never, ever lower them to make someone else comfortable.
Fully express your boundaries openly and honestly, and be sure to openly listen to your potential partner’s needs as well.
Keep a Positive Attitude
Stay optimistic, even when your dates don’t always go as planned. A positive mindset attracts nothing but positivity.
Be More Curious, Less Judgy
Take the time to genuinely listen and learn about your date. Be curious by asking open-ended questions.
Try to be more understanding and less critical, rather than making snap judgments about a potential partner. Remember that everyone is doing their best with what they have.
Reframe Rejection
Ever heard of the saying “Rejection is just redirection?”
Rather than seeing rejection as a failure, reframe it as a sign that you’re one step closer to finding someone who’s a waaaaay better fit for you.
Understand that rejection is part of the dating process and doesn’t reflect your value as a person AT ALL!
Maintain a “Non-Attachment” Approach
Let go of the need for instant chemistry or connection. This ain’t your favorite rom-com!
Sparks may not immediately fly on the first date. But they may be on the second or even the fifth. Be open to seeing where things go, without expectations.
Create a Gratitude Practice
After every date, focus on what went well or what you appreciated about the experience.
Try not to focus on the negative or what didn’t work. Here are some simple gratitude methods that might make this a little easier for you.
Be Open to Unlikely Connections
Sometimes, the best connections happen when you least expect them. Aren’t those kinds of connections THE BEST?!
Again, be open-minded about who might make a great partner, even if they don’t fit your typical type.
Don’t Settle. Ever!
We all can remember a time when we’ve settled for the bare minimum. HAHA, you just thought of them, didn’t you?
Know your worth and don’t settle for less than you deserve. BELIEVE that the right person is out there for you.
Have Fun and Enjoy the Process!
Above all, remember to have fun! Dating is a chance to meet interesting people and experience new connections.
Try to view dating as an exciting adventure, not just a means to an end. Enjoy getting to know new people while learning more about yourself in the process. WIN, WIN!
Having a positive dating mindset can completely change your entire dating experience. Keep some of these tips in mind when you’re heading out on your next date.
Got any stress-free dating tips you swear by? Let me hear ‘em!
